So Much Can Be Said Without Actually Saying Anything At All
--or--
Goddammit I Love My Job
Tonight at 315am a girl and guy walk in. She looks pretty young, and her face is broken out in what looks like acne. He's older. I figure she's his daughter. She asks,
-When's breakfast?
-I usually have it open at about five.
-Can you give me a ring when it's open?
-At five? Two hours from now? Are you sure?
She says,
-Honey, I just got off of work. This is my day. Five in the morning is good for me.
I realize that she's not his daughter.
-Yeah, sure, five it is.
On the counter is a case with candy in it, one of those charity deals, twenty-five cents for a tootsie-roll. She asks,
-If I put a dollar in here, can I get four tootsie-rolls?
-Yeah.
The guy asks,
-Hell of a price for a tootsie-roll, ain't it?
I say,
-It's for the kid.
I point to the picture of the girl on the front of the case.
-If it actually goes to the kid, sure.
-Where else would it go?
-The mafia does this sort of thing a lot.
-I think maybe you've seen My Blue Heaven one too many times.
-No, I know what I'm talking about.
I look at his girl.
-That's good. You probably also know that you just don't know what a person's last name is. If you know that, then you know that not every Italian comes from Sicily. And you would know that about an hour's drive north of Milan is a little village called Lecco. And everybody in Lecco has blonde hair and blue eyes. Quite a lot of the people north of the Po river are blonde. But then you knew that.
I smile at him.
They go back to their room. I go back to my office.
Goddammit I Love My Job
Tonight at 315am a girl and guy walk in. She looks pretty young, and her face is broken out in what looks like acne. He's older. I figure she's his daughter. She asks,
-When's breakfast?
-I usually have it open at about five.
-Can you give me a ring when it's open?
-At five? Two hours from now? Are you sure?
She says,
-Honey, I just got off of work. This is my day. Five in the morning is good for me.
I realize that she's not his daughter.
-Yeah, sure, five it is.
On the counter is a case with candy in it, one of those charity deals, twenty-five cents for a tootsie-roll. She asks,
-If I put a dollar in here, can I get four tootsie-rolls?
-Yeah.
The guy asks,
-Hell of a price for a tootsie-roll, ain't it?
I say,
-It's for the kid.
I point to the picture of the girl on the front of the case.
-If it actually goes to the kid, sure.
-Where else would it go?
-The mafia does this sort of thing a lot.
-I think maybe you've seen My Blue Heaven one too many times.
-No, I know what I'm talking about.
I look at his girl.
-That's good. You probably also know that you just don't know what a person's last name is. If you know that, then you know that not every Italian comes from Sicily. And you would know that about an hour's drive north of Milan is a little village called Lecco. And everybody in Lecco has blonde hair and blue eyes. Quite a lot of the people north of the Po river are blonde. But then you knew that.
I smile at him.
They go back to their room. I go back to my office.
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