I Just Watched The Rebirth Of Mothra

and there was a fight between Mothra and some big three-headed Godzilla-looking critter and everybody was freaking out in Japanese saying, You freed the monster you crazy guy, and, Don't worry Mothra will save us. But Mothra didn't save them, Mothra got his ass beat. He was zapped by three-headed halitosis. And then he died. And then he was reborn, being a Christ-figure and all. Even though they didn't actually say how long he spent in his cocoon, I imagine it was three days. Because moths grow up awful damn fast, he then flew in blue circles around the Satan-figure, and the world was saved and all the people said in Japanese, Amen.

All this happened about two thousand years after Saint Clement of Rome compared Christ to a phoenix in his First Epistle to the Corinthians:

Let us consider that wonderful sign [of the resurrection] which takes place in Eastern lands, that is, in Arabia and the countries round about. There is a certain bird which is called a phœnix. This is the only one of its kind, and lives five hundred years. And when the time of its dissolution draws near that it must die, it builds itself a nest of frankincense, and myrrh, and other spices, into which, when the time is fulfilled, it enters and dies. But as the flesh decays a certain kind of worm is produced, which, being nourished by the juices of the dead bird, brings forth feathers. Then, when it has acquired strength, it takes up that nest in which are the bones of its parent, and bearing these it passes from the land of Arabia into Egypt, to the city called Heliopolis. And, in open day, flying in the sight of all men, it places them on the altar of the sun, and having done this, hastens back to its former abode. The priests then inspect the registers of the dates, and find that it has returned exactly as the five hundredth year was completed.

Do we then deem it any great and wonderful thing for the Maker of all things to raise up again those that have piously served Him in the assurance of a good faith, when even by a bird He shows us the mightiness of His power to fulfil His promise? For [the Scripture] saith in a certain place, “Thou shalt raise me up, and I shall confess unto Thee;” and again, “I laid me down, and slept; I awaked, because Thou art with me;” and again, Job says, “Thou shalt raise up this flesh of mine, which has suffered all these things.”

I would not have thought the people who made The Rebirth of Mothra to know their Apostolic Fathers so well.

And then all the people said in Japanese, It took nature a million years to make this forest and now it is destroyed and even though it will take many years we must fix it and return it to its pristine glory, all praise be to God, because God has made us better than nature and we can do in a few years what it took nature a million years to do, and so we proudly impress upon everybody who watches this movie that we are environmentalists and we care about the environment even though we really think that we are better than the environment. All praise be to God the Father, and to his Son, and to the Holy Spirit which proceeds from the Father through the Son, as opposed to those heretics the Romans and their Frankish papacy who changed the creed to say From the Father and the Son. Amen.