Santa Gets A Bad Rap
How can anybody not believe in somebody that delivers presents to (as I've heard it recently) 832 homes per second on Christmas Eve?
After all, cloning is what elves do best.
That, and making reindeer fly.
Speaking of flying reindeer, there was one in Henrik Ibsen's play Peer Gynt. I don't recall it having anything to do with Santa Claus, however.
That, and possibly making toys.
Making toys is what the Chinese do best.
That, and clothes.
When it comes to cars however, it's better to stick with the Japanese. Or the Germans.
When it comes to illegal and incomprehensibly inexpensive firearms, it's better to stick with the Russians.
Making and distributing cheapcheap assault rifles is what the Russians do best.
Anyway, back to Santa...
He gets a bad rap. The other day I was playing a video game where Santa was evil! Can you believe it? An evil Santa? I couldn't believe it either, which completely suspended my Suspension Of Disbelief. I decided that I just couldn't bear to play such a shitty, unrealistic game any more, so I gave it to a friend as an early Christmas gift.
Giving shitty Christmas gifts is what I do best.
After all, cloning is what elves do best.
That, and making reindeer fly.
Speaking of flying reindeer, there was one in Henrik Ibsen's play Peer Gynt. I don't recall it having anything to do with Santa Claus, however.
That, and possibly making toys.
Making toys is what the Chinese do best.
That, and clothes.
When it comes to cars however, it's better to stick with the Japanese. Or the Germans.
When it comes to illegal and incomprehensibly inexpensive firearms, it's better to stick with the Russians.
Making and distributing cheapcheap assault rifles is what the Russians do best.
Anyway, back to Santa...
He gets a bad rap. The other day I was playing a video game where Santa was evil! Can you believe it? An evil Santa? I couldn't believe it either, which completely suspended my Suspension Of Disbelief. I decided that I just couldn't bear to play such a shitty, unrealistic game any more, so I gave it to a friend as an early Christmas gift.
Giving shitty Christmas gifts is what I do best.
posted by The Vicar at 3:04 AM
2 Comments:
You are always welcome to give the excellent gift of any Pablo Neruda book of poetry that crosses your divine path and you do not wish said libro to dwell on your bookshelf. Especially his love sonnets. The best gift you give, however, is the gift of yourself, everyday.
Are you insane, Idaho? No way Jose am I giving up my Veinte Poemas de Amor y una Cancion Desesperada.
And I like to give the gift of myself several times a day. Today, for instance, was four times that I gave myself.
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