A Couple Of Nights Ago I Met A Fellow

named Ether.

I thought that was an interesting name and tried to smell him (as discreetly as possible), in order to determine whether or not his odor perhaps was the reason for the name. As near as I could tell, it wasn't.

Then he called me Lenin.

I said,
- What?

- Lenin. It's a compliment.

- If you say so. I suppose it could be, depending on which Lenin you're talking about.

- Lennon, not Lenin.

- Alrighty then. Now that that's that, it's all better, what?

- Sorry. It's supposed to be a compliment.

- That's good to know / You said that already. So why Lennon?

- Have you taken a look in the mirror lately?

- Can't say that I have, no. Frightening things, mirrors. They give me the shivers.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

- Well, it's a compliment, anyway. Hey look, there's a rat that's been in my sleeve all night. I think he wants some of my beer. Earlier he was drinking my captain n' coke. Just wait a minute, Squeedge, I've got your beer right here. Calm down already. Say hello to Squeedge, Lennon.

- Hello.

- Stop being such a rude bastard and say hello to Lennon, Squeedge. No, you're not getting your beer until you say it.


Which got me to thinking about the other people that I've been compared to in my life. For the curious, this has been the first time that anyone's said that I look like Lennon. Note as well that all of these comparisons, with the exception of James Spader, were years and years ago, when I was popular with the ladies.

1.) Dolph Lundgren
2.) Ricky Schroeder
3.) Garfield - My voice
4.) Jim Morrison - The way I walk
5.) James Spader - Both my voice and how I look
6.) Christian Slater - Not what I say so much as how I say it
And, although nobody ever actually compared me to this guy, I used to think, back when I still had hair that reached my shoulder-blades, that I looked like
7.) the guitarist from Candlebox

So is there anybody relatively interesting that you've been compared to? Let us know. The world awaits.