I Lost My Keys

Luckily, because I locked my car keys in my car three times over the course of three weeks last summer, I have a spare set of car keys in a magnetic thing somewhere under my car's chassis, close to the ground. Locating it, however, requires much searching because after about two days of driving everything turns the same dirty snow salt gray. Which just happens to be the natural color of my car. I like to call that sort of coincidence a coincidence. Convenient, even.

I do not have a spare set of keys to my apartment. This requires that I use my credit card to open the door. Frightening is what I like to call the fact that it is so easy to break into my apartment. Farcically scary, even.

I say that I lost my keys. What I really mean when I say lost was that the same person who stole my phone and my alarm clock and my blanket also stole my key. And my laundry money, which consisted of exactly ten dollars in quarters.